To start everything from scratch with your former lover after breaking up is a dangerous trap. It may give you a second chance for happiness or lead you into an endless cycle of breakups and returns that emotionally will exhaust both of you. How to finally get out of the union that you cannot end for one reason or another?
Start Keeping A Diary Of Your Breakups
Being in a cyclical partnership, people rarely analyze what is happening to them. After another breaking up, they forget about insults very quickly and turn the page of their romance. The first step to breaking this circle is to train your consciousness. Try to keep a diary and write in it why you break up this time and how you feel. Then write about how you see the future love affair and your perfect match. Compare these points and try to honestly answer yourself: can this person give what you dream about, or is it better to look for someone else on the sweety date dating site? Also you can find a therapist in your area at BetterHelp.com.
Take Responsibility for Your Mistakes Without Judgments
Being angry with a partner or yourself is an unproductive feeling, and besides, it makes you stay involved in the drama of your love affair even after breaking up. Emotions become the basis for the next return to the partner, even if they are negative. The most productive thing you can do is to use them for your personal growth. Recognize your role in this partnership, even if it hurts to realize that you have made the same mistake repeatedly. Accept everything that happened and try to concentrate on learning a lesson and moving on.
Remove All Possible Reminders Of Them
After a couple of “broke up, then got back together again” cycles, partners already cease to believe that the next breakup will be real. For this reason, they don’t rush to cut ties or do it just for show. They unfollow each other, but continue to monitor each other’s social networks, store material reminders of the love affair, and do not rush to change their lives, even if they have long dreamed about it. Thus, they subconsciously give the partner a chance to come back. To break up once and for all, you should get rid of every single thing that reminds you of the former lover. So, it will be easier to cut these emotional ties.
Contact Your Friends For Support
People who tend to reunite with former lovers often depend on their partners. When you leave them, it is important to find other supports that will become your safety ring at the time of nostalgia or weakness When you fell weakness, Ask close friends who are aware of your dramatic connection to help you cut all ties with your former lover completely. They can do this in many ways: to protect you from reminders of them, distract you, or be around.
Try To Look Adequately At Your Couple
People get involved in such a cycle because they believe that this time, they will work out: the partner will change, they will change, or the circumstances will be different. Sometimes it really happens, a person can change when they are sincerely interested in it. However, if this is not your first breakup, probably each of you already had a chance to start everything from scratch, but you didn’t do anything. You will follow the same scenario. And the best way to leave is to realize who you are as a person, what you want and deserve, and understand that you have control over the situation, and you should put an end to it. The decision to get out of a cyclical reunion should be based not on what you feel for the partner but how you feel next to them. It’s about leaving a situation in which you are not happy, and which will not change.
Work With Beliefs That Limit You
Most of the beliefs present in our life come from past experiences, including childhood ones. Moreover, people often do not realize that these values and ideas about the world may be erroneous or not suitable specifically to them. Try to recognize the stereotypes that prevent you from getting out of these cyclical reunions and starting a new one. If you do not believe that you are worthy of something much better and that you do not have to put up with things that do not suit you, your life will never change. We are quite capable of changing beliefs that limit us. But first, you should learn to identify and analyze them not to follow them automatically.
