According to the CDC, suicide rates in the past 15 years have increased 24% from 10.5 to 13 per 100,000 with a greater pace increase after 2006. At the same time, a pew research center poll reported an increase of 6.7% of people being unaffiliated from any faith whatsoever.
Your faith gives you meaning, your faith gives you purpose, and your faith gives you redemption. No one is perfect, no matter how hard you try. You must feel remorseful for your mistakes to get better, but at some point, you have to learn to forgive yourself for your mistakes. The only way you can logically do that is by turning to some higher power.
A God is something that we experience in ourselves and in moments of the unexplained. A god is something that gives us hope, and a role model to look up to as what we should strive to be—perfection. We want to become better for the benefits that it will afford us. In the most selfish way, that is okay. Humans are naturally selfish creatures and we must break the negative stereotype that has been associated with the word for far too long.
Even when we cannot decide which religion to practice, you don’t have to. You simply must understand that your mistakes are a consequence of your free will. God would not give you free will if he did not have the capacity to forgive those who repent for their sins.
You may not believe in God, even when you feel His presence, and that is okay. God did not come down from heaven and get interviewed on CNN to prove he exists. For some people, that is the only way that they could 100% believe that He exists. However, you have felt in those moments that he does. You have an inclination to believe that there is something more out there, and hopefully, you are right.
At the same time, however, being a total atheist and not believing in any higher power is also foolhardy. Speaking in infinitives and making assumptions are totally illogical because by the same token you cannot prove that God does not exist. Perhaps he is in another realm, undetectable by mortal technology.
Whatever the case, we cannot completely rule out his existence. You can, however, be secure in your agnosticism. You can pray the prayer of the nonbeliever and understand that “God, I cannot totally believe that you do or do not exist, but if you do, please understand that I have tried to live in your image, and I pray that my imperfect soul shall be saved.” What a humble way to exist.
Understanding and accepting that you cannot yourself prove existence one way or another is a very logical and grounded way to live with the motivation to still do good.
You need not believe the story of Jesus to believe in Judeo-Christian values. These values can be rationalized beyond stories, through a natural understanding of equality, justice and the natural laws of the universe. When you understand that, you can still act in total morality, even if you cannot totally accept the presence of a God. When the time comes, if it should, your ethical behavior will be rewarded with salvation. If such a time does not come, you will have lived a healthy, satisfying life, understanding that you did things the right way.